IF ONLY I HAD | article by Ajay Alex

'If only I had' should never end our lives, I mean it should never be heard from our mouths when we're at the final stage of our lives. It is believed that people don't often regret what they did but they regret what they didn't do, that's why I think you should be the best version of yourself so that nothing will ever push you to do what will later make you say "if only I had"

In our world today, we are mostly driven by what they tell us, or what is trending, and often time, what is more acceptable by the society. All these has made many neglect their true self; they'll tell you
"No one has ever done it before, you can't do it, just forget it" or "Why are you thinking of doing something that risky? Don't you care for yourself?"

You know, people have a way of convincing you to not do what you need to do, but it's not them, it's nature... By that I mean you can't escape it, it must happen if you need to be strong and really fulfil your purpose on earth, you're the one who must not give in to what they tell you especially when it is not good enough for your purpose, even when it is good for something else.

...you're the one who must not give in to what they tell you especially when it is not good enough for your purpose

You're made to encourage people with your talent but then you see what is trending, "every other singer is flourishing because they sing the way you shouldn't, so you think for you to thrive you must join the trend" or "Every other footballer is buying cars and building mansions  with their wages, you join the trend, neglecting the millions of lives you're meant to polish"
 Regret will always picture itself in our minds in a very clear way, it will surely comes to your thoughts "this is not the right way" but the moment you neglect that warning, turning back won't be easy until it's time to "regret".

The question most people asks  is "will people buy it?" but the thing is you can't offer sweet and kola and still expect people to go for the kola, it won't happen because kola is bitter... Truth is bitter, real things taste bitter. But if you can convince me on why I need kola, I might prefer it to sweet.  If you're more concerned with what people want, then your chances of producing the best or quality are narrow. It is not about what they want, it is about what they need and when you know that, it becomes your duty to make them see what they need. You don't have to do it the way they want and later regret, you have the opportunity to do it as they need and live happily forever.

In your decisions, it is important that you know you're responsible for whatever the outcome may be, so don't allow people to trigger your decision. One needs to be bold in making decisions especially the one that will only affect you, you don't need anyone to tell you "oh! That's the best for you" OR "you shouldn't do that", it is your life, not theirs.

I'm reminded of a story, someone very close to me. She fell in love with someone of a differrent religious background, her Dad being a well respected fellow on their side of religion; It became a mission to convince her Dad, because several times, he has made it clear that he won't support her relationship with anyone from other religions, he threatened that he will never allow it to happen. What now then?  She has never look up at her Dad to query his command or decision; she was scared and short of what to do that she began to think of rebelling, she was ready to do anything illegal as long as she will end up with her man... But how is she going to get her Dad's blessing? Not long it occurred to her that she only need to face daddy and convince him... And for the first time, she did just that with enough humility and respect, words from her heart was enough to win her Dad over, now she's gonna live the rest of her life with the man she love and not the man her father wanted.

..."oh! that's the best for you" or "you shouldn't do that", it is your life, not theirs

What's the lesson?
So many times, you will be faced with situations where you'll have to make people accept what you want for yourself, don't run away from it... Don't drop your want because of them, and don't drop them for your want, make them accept it. There should be no "What if...?" be positive. If you have to climb mountains, go and climb it... Don't let what they want for you win, make what you want win or else the time will come and you'll be like "those mountains were out there, *'if only I had'* climbed them, I'll be fulfilled"

Finally mates, "if only I had" is not a good statement to end our lives with, and I'm glad to tell you that we have all the chances to avoid it now.
Don't procrastinate, do the right thing, live the best way and avoid "IF ONLY I HAD".

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