IN HOT WATER | Chronicle by Adeniji Kunleola

The weather was hot and I just had to stop by for a bottle of chilled coke not after this long trek, my feets even hurt seff. 
But i needed no cheap joints, because I'm no cheap guy

I walked a little until I came across this very flashy grocery store with a glassy door, I could sight its very decorated snack that made me silavate from just staring at it. I couldn't wait to get my hands on the choco bread and those cakes too.
I walked in boldly, acting like I wasn't even interested in what they had. I walked to one of the tables at a corner and sat down majestically just like the expensive dude I took myself to be.
I carefully glanced at the menu list, taking my time as I carefully appreciated the names of all this delicious deliciousness that surrounded me and were happily waving there hands as if to say "Praise, eat me, Please eat me!".
And then I swallowed hard,  and again. 
"Ordinary Eva water that was sold in my area for just 150 naira was sold for 800naira?"
What was the name of this grocery store again?
 I never checked, I was just hungry and that's it. 
I had 600 Naira on me and as it is guy-man, money only fit buy small Eva water 400naira, and probably get small change for keke.
I wasn't ready to act like I was in confusion over the price, and so i relaxed myself, taking my time. I'm sure if anyone was staring at me, such person would have thought i was going through the list but no.
My eyes were fixed on Big Swan water  at 800 naira and I dared not take my eyes off that, less i fall into coma or probably a well deserving heart attack.
"If you having problems choosing, you should try the crunchy buttered choco cakes, it goes well with the lemonades", I turned, searching for were that soft voice had come from.
"Its quite delicious, you should try it"
I smiled, opened my 32 and nodded my head like an olodo 

I don't even know what made me speechless seff, was it the pretty-looking fair lady that stood in front of me with hot legs like mammie water', or her recipe she suggested that was 4000 Naira on the menu list.
"Hi, Im Cassandra, (stretches her hands for a handshake) 
May I join you? "
"Sure, Yes, please do"
My eyes left the menu list, hot sweat began dripping from my forehead. 

You see, i have heard about village people following other people in the city, but I have always taken it for a joke. But this time I believed that I infact, had village people too. And wherever they are, they had definitely opened my book and were close by watching me getting disgraced live and direct in clear HD.

"I saw you walk in, I'm sorry but I must confess you look really handsome, you didn't tell me your name"
Just realising how mumuish I had suddenly turned within two minutes, I replied with a smile that was nearly forced, 
"I'm Adeola Oreoluwa Praise, you can call me Praise", I replied. 
She bursted into laughter, like a woman being tickled
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry , sorry i laughed. You are just too funny and you have a funny expression too, I don't know why I am laughing but I'm already getting to like you", she claimed

My world was suddenly gonna come crashing right in front of my eyes, I couldn't hold my legs from shaking, as i saw saw the female waitress walking towards me with her pen and a book.
"May i take your orders please"
"Yes do" she replied, We would have the crunchy buttered choco cakes with two glasses of lemonades each.." 

Who is we?
We is who? Who we is? As in when did she and myself become we?
Who even told her i wanted cakes ehh? Who even told her that lemonades were what I wanted?

All I wanted were pounded yam and vegetable soup without meat and 2 pure water at a Mama Buka Joint. At least I will get change for transport back home and even get change for tomorrow's breakfast

I wanted to tell her thank you, I wanted to tell her that I was not hungry, I wanted to call back the waitress, I wanted to tell the waitress to bring for just one. 
But somehow my mouth found a way to stay zipped.
All i did was sit and stare at the walking waitress as I dipped my hands in my pockets to fetch my handkerchief... 
My enemies were boiling me in hot water, and I couldn't even scream out.

Share this with friends

Latest Tweets